Comments on: Falling Into Life: A Gay Exmormon’s Journey http://www.moesey.com/2009/02/falling-into-life-a-gay-exmormons-journey-16/ Read me. I'm fabulous. Or at least that's what they tell me. Sun, 06 Mar 2011 16:23:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: Stacy http://www.moesey.com/2009/02/falling-into-life-a-gay-exmormons-journey-16/comment-page-1/#comment-282 Stacy Fri, 20 Mar 2009 23:46:08 +0000 http://www.moesey.com/?p=428#comment-282 This hurts to read. (But I'll read it to the end.) I wish I had known. I knew your heart was breaking, and I knew you went through hell crap...but I had no idea it was such a long journey. YEARS and YEARS and YEARS. I just wish I had known. Breaks my heart for you. I'm so glad you're happy now. I'm so glad you're at a place where you're looking back at this, instead of living it. But my heart wishes you never had to do either. Evergreen. You told me you and J painted your living room evergreen. It's the only time you and I talked about evergreen, but for some reason it kind-of haunts me now. Typing through tears now - love you, my friend. -Stacy This hurts to read. (But I’ll read it to the end.) I wish I had known. I knew your heart was breaking, and I knew you went through hell crap…but I had no idea it was such a long journey. YEARS and YEARS and YEARS. I just wish I had known. Breaks my heart for you. I’m so glad you’re happy now. I’m so glad you’re at a place where you’re looking back at this, instead of living it. But my heart wishes you never had to do either.

Evergreen. You told me you and J painted your living room evergreen. It’s the only time you and I talked about evergreen, but for some reason it kind-of haunts me now.

Typing through tears now – love you, my friend.

-Stacy

]]> By: etienne http://www.moesey.com/2009/02/falling-into-life-a-gay-exmormons-journey-16/comment-page-1/#comment-199 etienne Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:00:46 +0000 http://www.moesey.com/?p=428#comment-199 Colleen, please review this chapter, this is now titles "Understanding Evergreen" and the next part is "Experiencing Evergreen". Let me know what you think. Thanks for your wonderful comments here, it really helps me so much to hear your words. You are so lovely to me. e Colleen, please review this chapter, this is now titles “Understanding Evergreen” and the next part is “Experiencing Evergreen”. Let me know what you think. Thanks for your wonderful comments here, it really helps me so much to hear your words. You are so lovely to me.

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]]> By: Colleen Parkinson http://www.moesey.com/2009/02/falling-into-life-a-gay-exmormons-journey-16/comment-page-1/#comment-198 Colleen Parkinson Mon, 02 Mar 2009 03:12:38 +0000 http://www.moesey.com/?p=428#comment-198 Okay--while doing the dishes tonight, I was thinking about you (thinking about my ex and him not being able to find someone--thinking about gemini from RfM and how she said her ex is in his 60s and she doesn't see him finding someone and him being alone--and how would things have been different for all of us . . . )--so, thinking of you going to Evergreen and those mormon men trying to teach gays how to be MEN. If that isn't irony--I don't know what is. How angry must you have been--ALL OF YOU. These men acting superior, telling you you are inferior--telling you guys they knew how to make you MANLY. (Have you yet met a really active mormon manly man?) I think I've been waiting to hear about your evergreen experience for a long time. The insanity of it all--let along the tragedy of it all. I think there is so much to be told about the evergreen experience for anyone who has done it. Okay–while doing the dishes tonight, I was thinking about you (thinking about my ex and him not being able to find someone–thinking about gemini from RfM and how she said her ex is in his 60s and she doesn’t see him finding someone and him being alone–and how would things have been different for all of us . . . )–so, thinking of you going to Evergreen and those mormon men trying to teach gays how to be MEN. If that isn’t irony–I don’t know what is. How angry must you have been–ALL OF YOU. These men acting superior, telling you you are inferior–telling you guys they knew how to make you MANLY. (Have you yet met a really active mormon manly man?) I think I’ve been waiting to hear about your evergreen experience for a long time. The insanity of it all–let along the tragedy of it all. I think there is so much to be told about the evergreen experience for anyone who has done it.

]]> By: Colleen Parkinson http://www.moesey.com/2009/02/falling-into-life-a-gay-exmormons-journey-16/comment-page-1/#comment-195 Colleen Parkinson Sun, 01 Mar 2009 20:19:45 +0000 http://www.moesey.com/?p=428#comment-195 I don't know that you rushed it--for the 12 years of your life that it took up, it was too short. That chapter on talking to the mormon therapist was amazing. I know that my ex (and even I while dealing with this subject) have been through those gut-wrenching times. Evergreen had to have been a real MIND F*CK for lack of a better term! The whole idea of evergreen is a joke, but to have survived 12 years of it. I really don't know how you did it. I don’t know that you rushed it–for the 12 years of your life that it took up, it was too short. That chapter on talking to the mormon therapist was amazing. I know that my ex (and even I while dealing with this subject) have been through those gut-wrenching times. Evergreen had to have been a real MIND F*CK for lack of a better term! The whole idea of evergreen is a joke, but to have survived 12 years of it. I really don’t know how you did it.

]]> By: etienne http://www.moesey.com/2009/02/falling-into-life-a-gay-exmormons-journey-16/comment-page-1/#comment-193 etienne Sun, 01 Mar 2009 17:02:16 +0000 http://www.moesey.com/?p=428#comment-193 Colleen, I think you're right, I rushed this, it needs to be in 2 parts: What evergreen is and what it does to you. This is by far one of the most difficult chapters for me, and I rushed this too much. Colleen, I think you’re right, I rushed this, it needs to be in 2 parts: What evergreen is and what it does to you. This is by far one of the most difficult chapters for me, and I rushed this too much.

]]> By: Colleen Parkinson http://www.moesey.com/2009/02/falling-into-life-a-gay-exmormons-journey-16/comment-page-1/#comment-192 Colleen Parkinson Sun, 01 Mar 2009 16:38:52 +0000 http://www.moesey.com/?p=428#comment-192 And, if you are looking for suggestions, my favorite parts so far are where you "bare your soul"--when you give us the nitty gritty of what you were feeling as you went through these things, the detail. Give us more detail about what it was like to experience Evergreen. And, if you are looking for suggestions, my favorite parts so far are where you “bare your soul”–when you give us the nitty gritty of what you were feeling as you went through these things, the detail. Give us more detail about what it was like to experience Evergreen.

]]> By: Colleen Parkinson http://www.moesey.com/2009/02/falling-into-life-a-gay-exmormons-journey-16/comment-page-1/#comment-191 Colleen Parkinson Sun, 01 Mar 2009 16:35:13 +0000 http://www.moesey.com/?p=428#comment-191 I'm still amazed that you put up with Evergreen for as long as you did. The thing I truly hated when we were working with the church authorities before we got married is having so many voyeurs. I'm a very private person and it was literally killing me to have everyone sticking their noses in OUR business. I know now that one of the reasons I married my ex is because I NEEDED THEM OUT OF OUR LIVES so we could figure this out for ourselves. It is more than laughable that they think doing things like learning how to change your brakes is going to make you "straight"--my ex can keep a car running longer than anyone I know (except maybe my dad who taught this in school for years), but my ex is more willing to do it himself than my dad was (he was weary of doing it for a living!). Even if we aren't together--the REALLY, REALLY BIG THING I've loved about leaving the LDS church is that they have NO SAY in my life--NONE. I can DO or BE anything without anyone having a say--or me having to worry about "returning and reporting." I'm sorry for all those years of Evergreen--the torture you went through. Even when I hoped that maybe my marriage could be saved, there is no way in hell I would have subjected my ex to that. I’m still amazed that you put up with Evergreen for as long as you did. The thing I truly hated when we were working with the church authorities before we got married is having so many voyeurs. I’m a very private person and it was literally killing me to have everyone sticking their noses in OUR business. I know now that one of the reasons I married my ex is because I NEEDED THEM OUT OF OUR LIVES so we could figure this out for ourselves.

It is more than laughable that they think doing things like learning how to change your brakes is going to make you “straight”–my ex can keep a car running longer than anyone I know (except maybe my dad who taught this in school for years), but my ex is more willing to do it himself than my dad was (he was weary of doing it for a living!).

Even if we aren’t together–the REALLY, REALLY BIG THING I’ve loved about leaving the LDS church is that they have NO SAY in my life–NONE. I can DO or BE anything without anyone having a say–or me having to worry about “returning and reporting.”

I’m sorry for all those years of Evergreen–the torture you went through. Even when I hoped that maybe my marriage could be saved, there is no way in hell I would have subjected my ex to that.

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