You know, Most of us trapped in this situation experience a spiritual death as opposed to a physical death. It’s such an odd life experience, to be trapped into a religion that is your own energy vampire, your own spiritual vampire. Every single thing suggested to us was the opposite of what would have healed us.

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I, too, had to choose between death or mormonism–as my life made NO SENSE in mormonism. Even after all the years after he left and I worked so hard to pick up the pieces, I DID NOT HEAL until the day I admitted to myself I no longer believed–and then it all became clear. All the confusion and pain that you talk about above–it ended for ME, too.

When I first found out my ex was gay–I had been taught he was a monster. I fell into a suicidal depression. In my mind, he would become this demon. I would have to call him and as soon as I’d hear his voice, I’d know he wasn’t what they told me he was. When I quit trying to figure it out by THEIR RULES–it all became perfectly clear.

These are much better–I can “feel” what you are saying.