For a long time, I said that I saved my ex, just not in the way the church expected me to. BUT, nowadays, I say that we saved each other. Without him and the gay issue, I never would have found my way out of mormonism.

I think one of the most powerful days of my life was the day I sat at the wedding reception (I think I told you about it) at a mormon church in Rexburg, Idaho. I went through the line with my ex, his partner, my daughter–and we sat at a table across from one of my ex’s gay friends from childhood/high school. I knew this guy because he lived with us for 3 months. He was sitting there with his wife–and neither of them would look at me. They would look at my ex and his partner, and the gay friend flirted with my ex’s partner, but they avoided my eyes. I was making a statement–I sat there and thought, “There he sits. He is still so nice looking and I love him and I still love him. All I ever wanted for him was that he accept himself and be happy. I have given him that. I can have no regrets.”

I have told my daughter–to truly love someone, you have to be willing to let them go. You can’t hold them hostage. It was the hardest lesson I ever learned–but the most rewarding.

I revel in the life I live–as he lives here and everyone knows. He was afraid that the men he works with still didn’t know–until the secretary of his department told him recently that they’ve known for years. He then put the rainbow Mickey ball from Disneyland that I bought him last October on his trooper. There has been nothing so healing in my life as to have learned to love someone completely unconditionally. He gave me that opportunity.

Thank you so much for your book! I loved your ex-wife’s, too.