Things That Make Me Feel Old
So my oldest daughter is graduating from high school soon. She’s amazing, we’re proud, she’s going to college, blah, blah, blah. All of this progression is making me feel old. It must be coincidental that several other things are making me feel old as of late, right? I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I am being thrust toward FORTY. I’ve heard from several female people that FORTY is the magic age at which your body starts to tell you that your fabulousness better lie in something other than your physical vessel or you are doomed. I’ve been actively working on my inner fabulousness since late 2005 and it’s coming along well but this does not make this other thing, the inklings of physical degradation, any easier at ALL. So here are the things that I believe may be a sign of impending elderliness:
- Increasing satisfaction in and anticipation of the wearing of stretchy pants.
- Subtle adjustments of reading material along the X-axis.
- Awareness of bowel movement patterns.
- Beer gut (see first point).
- Knowledge that I will, very likely, be a grandmother at some point in the next ten years (the oldest will be twenty-seven in ten years…F*CK!)
- Memory of my parents at my age…and they were OLD.
- Thoughts that my menstrual cycle is pretty much useless and could disappear without me caring too much (yes, I know, it’s early for these thoughts but I have SIX children…did I just blog the word menstrual?).
- Realizing that the giggling female med students at work are closer in age to my daughter than they are to me…F*CK!!!
And finally…the big one…
- When dropping my girl off for her university placement exams this past Saturday, the sudden and violent nausea, then tears, then visions of her life flashing before my eyes as if all of those little curly-haired fits of stubborn rage were literally just last week. *SOB*
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I’m coming up on the big four-oh this year too, and making sure that my fabulousness lies in something other than my physical vessel is definitely on my agenda.